athril
New Member
Posts: 4
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Post by athril on May 20, 2016 14:00:54 GMT
DOSSIER NAME. Athril (Birth Name: Nejhad Jiddira) ALIAS. Reject AGE. 23 GENDER. Male RACE. Human. SEXUALITY. Straight AFFILIATION. Freelancer PHYSICAL HEIGHT. 183 cm (6') WEIGHT. 93 kg (205 pounds) HAIR COLOR. Blond with orange highlight on the tip EYE COLOR. Blue BODY TYPE. Heavily muscular ABNORMALITIES. Whip scars on his back from a crime REFERENCES. MENTAL POSITIVE TRAITS.
Broad-minded Analytical Does not make action based on prejudice Self-improving Never gave up on trivial matters NEGATIVE TRAITS.
Morally very questionable (very grey, tends to be chaotically evil) Hates people who flaunts their justice like they're trying to make people adhere that personal rule Hates 'authority' Reckless Single-minded LIKES. His sister Nature Being free DISLIKES.
All talk no action people Poverty Hunger OUT OF CHARACTER OOC NAME. Elrica FACE CLAIM. Tales of Berseria, Eizen for Athril
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athril
New Member
Posts: 4
275x450: http://i.imgur.com/9ItOIaG.png
Profile Image: http://i.imgur.com/Bp9Yrnd.png
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Post by athril on May 20, 2016 14:36:27 GMT
INVENTORY ITEM NAME. Athril's Gauntlet RANK. N/A DESCRIPTION. Athril's gauntlets, his weapon and his tool of trade in attacking. He seem held this gloves fondly, despite it being already worn out. ITEM NAME. Failed Core RANK. N/A DESCRIPTION. He once tried to make a contract with an elemental spirit, but failed. The catalyst, a round citrine gem, failed to host a spirit and instead used as an accessory for him. CAPABILITIES RANK. D PRIMARY MAGIC. [Lost] [Lex Terra] Lex Terra is one of the Lex Orbus series, along with Lex Mare and Lex Caelum. The user of this magic may control the earth and notice any sort of abnormalities or positivity within the land, and provided enough strength and magic power, solves the problem, hence [Lex Terra]. The user of the Lex Orbus series are unable to learn another of the same series, nor its derivative elements (hence Athril are unable to learn wind and water magic), in an attempt to stop someone to obtain the full Lex Orbus magic. This magic strength located not in its power to control earth, as normal earth magic is sufficient to do so, but its power to analyze and change the earth's element, such as magnetism and enforces gravity upon an area and the power to empower self with the leyline available. The user may not meddle with anything that is not fully related to earth (ie: despite able to change the mineral concentration within the earth, they're not allowed to make plants instantly grows like Great Tree Arc), but they're allowed to meddle with the structure placed upon the land, given enough strength and magic, obviously. While they're able to place gravity or magnetism upon an area (or target if gravity), the effect is never permanent and will fade accordingly to the strength applied. Athril learned this magic from a kind old man that took care of him for a while. But due to some misunderstanding, he never thought that his magic is anything but one of the Lex Orbus series. <NOTE: Currently Athril only able to use the earth based spells portion of it, so he doesn't have the gravity or magnetism part. Further use of this spell will be developed in missions or social thread before fully unleashed, when he obtained higher class> -- You start with five abilities. Use the template provided below in order to describe them. You can sacrifice an ability slot in order to start with a magical item equal to your rank.NAME: Earth Fang RANK: D TYPE: Attack MAGIC: [Lex Terra]MODS: None DESCRIPTION: Athril manipulate the earth to form a sharp protrusion that attacks the enemy. MP COST: 1 NAME: Natura Alteratio RANK: D TYPE: Support MAGIC: [Lex Terra]MODS: Strength Boost DESCRIPTION: Putting his hands on the ground, Athril changes the property of the earth. His magic upon that area will be strengthened for three turns. MP COST: 3 NAME: Earth Shot RANK: D TYPE: Attack MAGIC: [Lex Terra]MODS: None DESCRIPTION: Athril made a gun with his finger and gathers dusts on the air to be condensed into a bullet in front of his index finger, then shoot it at the opponent. MP COST: 1 NAME: Ground Dasher RANK: E TYPE: Attack MAGIC: [Lex Terra]MODS: AoE DESCRIPTION: Athril summons to conical shaped AoE earth spikes that rose and sink like waves, damaging the enemies. The range is about 20 meters away from him. MP COST: 1 NAME: Lex Enodo RANK: N/A <Unlocked at C-Class>TYPE: Passive MAGIC: [Lex Terra]MODS: None DESCRIPTION: By nature, Athril could identify anything that walks on or is inside the earth, also the current state of the land. This is also great for navigating the ruins. However, the effective range is depending on his current class. In order to gather more information, however, he have to concentrate, therefore forgoing his usage of magic at that turn. MP COST: 0
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Post by Rytama on May 20, 2016 21:43:33 GMT
Everything looks good, it's all solid.
The major component keeping us from accepting this character is the Magic itself. Basically it is three different types of magic all combined into one. Now we realize you were sacrificing your secondary and tertiary for this specific magic, however it is just too overpowered. Not even Slayer Magic is that powerful, even with Dual Elements.
So, pretty much the only thing we're going to have to ask you to change is your Magic.
PS. You can basically accomplish what Jura does and more just by using regular Earth Magic. The only thing you'll be sacrificing here is the control over magma, which you can easily obtain later on by purchasing a secondary magic.
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