Kuroda Kyousuke
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Black Field Reverent Aid
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Post by Kuroda Kyousuke on May 20, 2016 23:00:09 GMT
DOSSIER NAME. Kuroda Kyousuke ALIAS. Brother 'Suke AGE. 24 GENDER. Male RACE. Human SEXUALITY. Heterosexual AFFILIATION. Freelancer PHYSICAL HEIGHT. Seven feet Four inches [7' 4"] WEIGHT. One-hundred Eighty Three pounds [183 lbs] HAIR COLOR. Mid back length dark brown hair. EYE COLOR. Blue BODY TYPE. Lean ABNORMALITIES. Wears an eyepath over his right eye. Florescent tattoos tatter his body in tribal fashion of cyan colors. These tattoos are located along his left chest and reaches along his left arm. REFERENCES. Eyepatch, Tattoo, and florescent color of the tattoo. MENTAL POSITIVE TRAITS. Admirable in his actions as he always does what he believes is the right thing to do, he is unwaivoring in his opinion in many topics. With a broad knowledge of random facts he is always there to listen to both sides of an argument before making a say on something. Furthermore he demonstrates his compassion and generosity by the nature of which he proceeds to take many under his wing, as if they were of his own family. NEGATIVE TRAITS. Though to every saint there is evil that lurks within. He goes about things sometimes in a rather impractical mean all for the end outcome to be what is saught. Perhaps it is his naive nature that brought him along this path but needless to say he can be quite careless at times. Disobedient to a fault to those over him, he does come about with much hostility towards those that he believes have not earned his trust. LIKES. Rain, books, architecture, darkness, and teasing. DISLIKES. Belittling, dried fruit, heat, greed, and corruption. OUT OF CHARACTER OOC NAME. Ryosuke FACE CLAIM. BLEACH, Shunsui Kyoraku by Kuroda Kyousuke. |
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Kuroda Kyousuke
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Black Field Reverent Aid
Posts: 5
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Post by Kuroda Kyousuke on May 21, 2016 5:36:03 GMT
INVENTORY ITEM NAME. Tome of Damocles RANK. N/A DESCRIPTION. ( Image) Unlike the mythical Sword of Damocles, the necklace is a family airloom of fragments of the original leader of the family's skull broken into tiny chunks. All members of the family once reaching adulthood take part in carrying this tome until they themselves die. It is a symbol to the family of the Kyousukes that those who pass down their own tome to their own children continue to live on in an afterlife, one of peace and prosperity that is beyond the normal means of what the family originally held. This tome, a testament of hardship, is one meant to bring people together and to make one or more children to carry on the legacy, spreading the Tomes of Damocles across the known world. More to come as found IC'ly CAPABILITIES RANK. D-Class PRIMARY MAGIC. [Lost] Bone Magic - The lost art known as “bone magic” is lost in its nature for the toll it takes on the body every time it is used for most lost magics, outside that of slayer, are a sin unto the magician. That is at least the legend behind the Lost Magic known as Bone Magic. The magic created from this are through the use of the actual bones of the magician, and no it is not the pulling bones out of the body and disarming someone. No, this art is the characteristic of using seals over certain portions of the human body and create a mimicry of a weapon made from bone. The reason it is known as bone magic is because of the ivory coloring and the non-elemental guise the magic poses. The toll it takes on the user however is another reason the magic is known as bone magic, for every use of the magic a bone is cracked, splintered, broken, whatever word one wishes to describe the agonizing pain that occurs to the user. Why go through such pain though for a lost art? Because the very magic that causes such pain is a unique one and has potential to reach the stars for it is a currently unexplored magic in its entirety. Whenever bringing this magic into reality, the user crosses both arms in front of them perpendicular to their body and the magic is focused at whatever seals are applicable for said magic.
- Seal Locations
- Palm of hand - One each
- Soul of foot - One each
- Base of neck - Only one
- Rib Cage - Six each side front, seven each side back
- Knees - One each
- Elbows - One each
- Forearms - One each
- Tailbone - Only one
[/ul] SECONDARY MAGIC. -- TERTIARY MAGIC. -- Note: The top three that are struck out are passives to bone magic meant to hinder the user. As I've been informed I cannot have any passives until C-class these are going to stay here but struck out as in innaccessible to me for use during my D-class days. These passives again are meant to hinder the user only, as such I am perfectly happy with only the two abilities below them for the start. NAME: Secret to Learning Bone Magic
RANK: N/A
TYPE: Passive
MAGIC: Bone Magic
MODS: Ailment: Mobility Debuff
DESCRIPTION: The Secret to Learning Bone Magic is that the user must consistently have injured bones within themselves. What this means is that every time a bone magic spell is cast or even learned a bone will break and require appropriate time or magic assistance to heal. It takes a minimum C-class spell to heal the bones no matter what or an IC time of one month for the bone to heal. The reason it only takes one month rather than a practical amount of time is due to the nature the bone was broken, as it was not broken by normal or outside means but by a magic the user is keenly knowledgeable of. The downside prior to having it healed is the pain is massive and does not go away. The user will be less mobile by far and furthermore if an arm is broken then that is one arm of magic incapable of using itself.
MP COST: N/A
NAME: Secret to Using Bone Magic
RANK: N/A
TYPE: Passive
MAGIC: Bone Magic
MODS: Ailment: Reflection Debuff
DESCRIPTION: Whenever using bone magic the user has a rather slim chance to stay under his own control. Such is the case of being known as a double edge sword sometimes, this magic affects the user for half an afflicted damage done to the enemy at the drop of a hat (to keep from godmodding I will play this as every attack will affect the user for half the damage. Deep cuts being mid cuts, killing something with half my own health/magic reserves, etc).
MP COST: N/A
NAME: Secret to Retaining Bone Magic
RANK: N/A
TYPE: Passive
MAGIC: Bone Magic
MODS: Ailment: Paralysis Debuff
DESCRIPTION: The retaining and constant use of a bone magic in affect can still hamper the body even after having brought it out to the fold. This is hazardous because if the magic is left out for too long it paralyzes the user for two turns immediately after having said magic out on their fifth turn. To keep paralyzation from happening there must be a full post of no bone magic out at all by the user to reset the countdown to paralyzation.
MP COST: N/A
- NAME: Sword "Favor"
RANK: D-rank
TYPE: Attack
MAGIC: Bone Magic
MODS: N/A
DESCRIPTION: Sword Favor is not just a single blade but rather two blades that come about out of each hand. One of these is a wakizachi (right hand) and the other is a kodachi (left hand). The sword favor creates these two blades and they can remain active almost indefinitely at least until broken to which their durability is treated like a simple D-rank item’s durability. The seals used for this magic are the palms.
MP COST: 1 MP
- NAME: Shield "Favor"
RANK: D-rank
TYPE: Defense
MAGIC: Bone Magic
MODS: Barrier
DESCRIPTION: The shield is a simple buckler shield upon the left arm, this shield primarily is utilized to block off incoming attacks and much the use of a shield it is only used for that purpose. The shield has no strap but if one looks the magic bond between shield and user will appear as a bone jutting out of the arm to hold the shield in place. The shield will last for three posts maximum, less so if broken. The seal used for this magic is the left forearm.
MP COST: 1 MP
[/div] |
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IMUIT
Administrator 
Posts: 83
Mage Class: STAFF-CLASS
Magic Type One: GRADING
Magic Type Two: SIDE-EYEING
Magic Type Three: SAYING NO
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Character Desc: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Mauris varius semper tortor aliquam tincidunt. Curabitur lacus tortor, dictum et dui eu, ultrices suscipit leo. Sed nec consectetur justo. Suspendisse potenti. Ut suscipit massa vitae lorem cursus ultrices. Etiam non massa eu odio tempus ullamcorper. Duis elementum, erat eu lobortis pretium, felis ligula volutpat justo, sed lobortis dolor sapien vel nulla.
Nulla facilisi. Nulla orci leo, euismod vel euismod eget, egestas in nisl. Sed odio dui, tincidunt quis ultricies ut, tempus sed velit. Donec at tristique odio. Morbi erat leo, facilisis at posuere vitae, molestie vitae ex. Sed nec fermentum dui. Pellentesque pulvinar luctus auctor. In tellus felis, dapibus quis purus vel, elementum interdum erat. Cras placerat ex vel turpis maximus, vitae blandit urna dignissim. Donec tempor tristique nisl, laoreet ultricies lorem tincidunt in. Nullam dictum tristique nisl sed pretium. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Fusce ut est nulla. Quisque gravida ipsum turpis.
Duis euismod arcu at turpis aliquam, sed tempus justo semper. Donec facilisis laoreet malesuada. Aenean ac tincidunt ante. Quisque cursus velit et mauris fermentum, vitae sagittis nisl finibus. Morbi imperdiet, nulla ac sollicitudin tristique, lacus nunc consequat erat, nec volutpat orci eros quis dui. Vestibulum ut arcu augue. Quisque hendrerit risus erat, finibus hendrerit metus imperdiet et. Proin sollicitudin aliquam laoreet.
Nullam bibendum varius leo, at tristique sapien ullamcorper ac. Suspendisse semper mattis elit, a tincidunt nulla interdum eu. Sed tincidunt laoreet tempus. Donec euismod aliquet orci, vitae porttitor metus aliquam quis. Integer tincidunt, massa a hendrerit ornare, quam quam sollicitudin lectus, vitae finibus lorem eros sed diam. Morbi et lobortis sem. Morbi vitae tortor ut mi facilisis tempus. Nam molestie, neque id varius pretium, felis nisi volutpat mauris, facilisis tincidunt nunc enim vel arcu. Nulla odio ligula, rutrum vel magna in, pretium vestibulum purus. Ut vitae felis urna. Etiam et faucibus augue. Fusce posuere posuere condimentum. Phasellus pharetra vestibulum turpis at lobortis.
Suspendisse vitae massa egestas, bibendum ipsum et, egestas mauris. Quisque imperdiet est odio, non posuere quam cursus quis. Maecenas vitae ligula sed ante tristique pretium eu dapibus nisl. Suspendisse nec tellus feugiat, lobortis ex sit amet, sagittis massa. Vestibulum ultricies sodales magna. Etiam fermentum, massa id commodo porta, mi mi sollicitudin nisi, non convallis turpis lorem in arcu. Vivamus facilisis mi rhoncus, ultricies diam rutrum, posuere massa. Phasellus a risus tellus. Morbi dapibus tempor elit, vel iaculis lorem convallis sit amet. Nullam ac sollicitudin nunc.
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Post by IMUIT on May 21, 2016 17:19:28 GMT
Your magic and its descriptions are really long and potentially confusing. I've also read through the passives, and they are confusing me. Passives are supposed to be like little things that the user can do without conscious effort; however, the passives I see now seem really in depth. While I'm aware that they are supposed to handicap you, it'd be a lot simpler if you just replaced them with basic abilities.
Sword "Favor" - The description of this is way too long, especially considering how simple this ability is. Please make this description much more concise, and remove the specific dimensions for the weapons.
Shield "Favor" - Same thing for this ability. Also, Barrier doesn't increase MP cost. |
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Kuroda Kyousuke
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Black Field Reverent Aid
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Post by Kuroda Kyousuke on May 21, 2016 18:20:33 GMT
Passives - I've done away with a few descriptions that were needless to try and make it more fluid. However I do not want to just replace these with simple little things, I much prefer gimping myself for this magic I'm using. The reason is that this magic is a rarity in my mind, not to mention dangerous as its lore would be played out as such by myself. I do not like the idea of this magic boosting or aiding the player at all which is way any passives I would create for it are meant to hinder the user. I'm sorry but that's really all I can do about them.
Sword Favor - Removed the dimensions and some extra description, hopefully it is much more fluid
Shield Favor - Removed dimensions and changed MP cose to 1. Hopefully this all helps.
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IMUIT
Administrator
Posts: 83
Mage Class: STAFF-CLASS
Magic Type One: GRADING
Magic Type Two: SIDE-EYEING
Magic Type Three: SAYING NO
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Character Desc: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Mauris varius semper tortor aliquam tincidunt. Curabitur lacus tortor, dictum et dui eu, ultrices suscipit leo. Sed nec consectetur justo. Suspendisse potenti. Ut suscipit massa vitae lorem cursus ultrices. Etiam non massa eu odio tempus ullamcorper. Duis elementum, erat eu lobortis pretium, felis ligula volutpat justo, sed lobortis dolor sapien vel nulla.
Nulla facilisi. Nulla orci leo, euismod vel euismod eget, egestas in nisl. Sed odio dui, tincidunt quis ultricies ut, tempus sed velit. Donec at tristique odio. Morbi erat leo, facilisis at posuere vitae, molestie vitae ex. Sed nec fermentum dui. Pellentesque pulvinar luctus auctor. In tellus felis, dapibus quis purus vel, elementum interdum erat. Cras placerat ex vel turpis maximus, vitae blandit urna dignissim. Donec tempor tristique nisl, laoreet ultricies lorem tincidunt in. Nullam dictum tristique nisl sed pretium. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Fusce ut est nulla. Quisque gravida ipsum turpis.
Duis euismod arcu at turpis aliquam, sed tempus justo semper. Donec facilisis laoreet malesuada. Aenean ac tincidunt ante. Quisque cursus velit et mauris fermentum, vitae sagittis nisl finibus. Morbi imperdiet, nulla ac sollicitudin tristique, lacus nunc consequat erat, nec volutpat orci eros quis dui. Vestibulum ut arcu augue. Quisque hendrerit risus erat, finibus hendrerit metus imperdiet et. Proin sollicitudin aliquam laoreet.
Nullam bibendum varius leo, at tristique sapien ullamcorper ac. Suspendisse semper mattis elit, a tincidunt nulla interdum eu. Sed tincidunt laoreet tempus. Donec euismod aliquet orci, vitae porttitor metus aliquam quis. Integer tincidunt, massa a hendrerit ornare, quam quam sollicitudin lectus, vitae finibus lorem eros sed diam. Morbi et lobortis sem. Morbi vitae tortor ut mi facilisis tempus. Nam molestie, neque id varius pretium, felis nisi volutpat mauris, facilisis tincidunt nunc enim vel arcu. Nulla odio ligula, rutrum vel magna in, pretium vestibulum purus. Ut vitae felis urna. Etiam et faucibus augue. Fusce posuere posuere condimentum. Phasellus pharetra vestibulum turpis at lobortis.
Suspendisse vitae massa egestas, bibendum ipsum et, egestas mauris. Quisque imperdiet est odio, non posuere quam cursus quis. Maecenas vitae ligula sed ante tristique pretium eu dapibus nisl. Suspendisse nec tellus feugiat, lobortis ex sit amet, sagittis massa. Vestibulum ultricies sodales magna. Etiam fermentum, massa id commodo porta, mi mi sollicitudin nisi, non convallis turpis lorem in arcu. Vivamus facilisis mi rhoncus, ultricies diam rutrum, posuere massa. Phasellus a risus tellus. Morbi dapibus tempor elit, vel iaculis lorem convallis sit amet. Nullam ac sollicitudin nunc.
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Post by IMUIT on May 21, 2016 22:35:28 GMT
I understand you want this thing to be "special", but a lot of what you have for the passives does not fit with the site's mechanics. For example, you mention "IC time of one month" when there isn't a pre-established timeline since everything's liquid time; you have things like Ailment: Mobility Debuff, Ailment: Reflection Debuff and Ailment: Paralysis Debuff which are all mods that don't exist. Ailments are things like coughing, vomiting, nausea, muscle spasms, etc while debuffs are things that can only lower strength, speed or durability.
What I'm saying is that you need to make things a lot more simple or you're going to have to come up with a new magic. |
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